Counter-will and resistance
Doctor and trauma specialist Gabor Maté describes a concept called counter-will.
Counter-will refers to a natural psychological resistance that occurs when a child feels controlled, pressured or unsafe.
For some neurodivergent children, especially those with ADHD or demand-avoidant profiles, strong resistance to demands may be a self-protective response.
When children feel their autonomy is threatened, their nervous system may react with:
- refusal
- avoidance
- anger
- shutdown
This often means the child does not feel safe, understood or in control of a situation.
Reducing pressure, offering choices and maintaining respectful communication can help reduce these defensive responses.
Reducing pressure, offering choices and maintaining respectful communication can help reduce these defensive responses.
